Bill Aversion Club T-Shirts

"Say aaargh!" (Dentist presents his bill to a patient).

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Worry tank

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

I am billing, therefore I am.

"What next?" "Don't tell me."

Campaign 2016

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

Is there any history of not paying medical bills in your family? M.D.

"It's a great invention, but what if it leads to UTILITY BILLS?"

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

'Here, check it by processing my bill.'

Duel Fuel?

"We lawyers are very conscientious about our charges and I remember that one specifically: I called to wish you a happy birthday and I got your answering machine so I just billed you a quarter of an hour."

"You hate ironing? Me too."

"I forgot to pay the light bill. I swear, I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on."

Caution! Peak power electric bill shock possible.

"I just got a second notice on my credit card bill. But I never even got a first notice."

"Penny for your thoughts? I'm a solicitor, it'll cost you five hundred!"

'I have a terrible fear of paying bills.'

Arnold Schwarzenegger's clone: 'But I don't wanna pump iron!'

Island Rent Due.

"It's a quote from the builder, he says that the $2000 will just cover the cost of him coming over to laugh at us!"

'A second opinion? All right, but I charge double for that.'

"Final demand! Does that mean they'll stop pestering us?"

"I've consolidated all our bills into one missed payment."