Bilingual Wizard Pillows

"I hope you know that by sending me to bed I'm out of the zone now! What's Spanish for big, fat loophole?"

"Home depot."

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Newt sale

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

"So your successful fantasy novels are based on your own experiences....can you elaborate on that?"

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

Wordplay: Lemonade - Save the Lemon.

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

'Why do I always get a teaching assistant whose pronunciation is awful?'

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"And she's an interesting conversationalist, too."

"Honey, Clay Buchholz is about to cement a Cy Young!"

'The great thing about string theory is that it ties up quite a few loose ends.'

"This big eraser? It's for graphic novels."

"The magic's still there, but the sex is terrible."

Ever since I was a calf, I've always wanted my own henchman!

Magic Mushrooms

'Oh Great Oz, know of any openings in the marketing field?'