Bilingual Wizard T-Shirts

"I hope you know that by sending me to bed I'm out of the zone now! What's Spanish for big, fat loophole?"

"Home depot."

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Newt sale

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

"Name your sources."

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'With this organ transplant, you may find yourself doing a lot of thinking with your heart,'

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"So your successful fantasy novels are based on your own experiences....can you elaborate on that?"

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

Astrology meets computer science. You think all computers are gemine? Yeah, they're born under a binary system.

Wordplay: Lemonade - Save the Lemon.

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

'The great thing about string theory is that it ties up quite a few loose ends.'

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

'Why do I always get a teaching assistant whose pronunciation is awful?'

"And she's an interesting conversationalist, too."

"This big eraser? It's for graphic novels."

"Honey, Clay Buchholz is about to cement a Cy Young!"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"The magic's still there, but the sex is terrible."

"The tests came back positive. You're H2O intolerant."

Hairy Potter and friend..

Wow. That WAS a lot faster.

'Oh Great Oz, know of any openings in the marketing field?'

'You were Tolkien in your sleep again...'

"I need some help to write my self-help book..."