Rhyming Wizard Pillows

The Ballad of the Lavender Dot

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Backfire

"Home depot."

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

The Pink Bantha

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Newt sale

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Two love poems in swimming pool. Shallow end and deep end.

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

'He will observe your text now...'

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

'Yes, I'm very punctual. I always use commas and periods.'

Poetry Buff.

Progression of human writing, from chisled stone to computers until 2000 when the computer has blown up

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"Great moments in songwriting" "What if she had a little lamb?" "Maybe it follows her to school?" "Wouldn't that make the children laugh?" "Exactly."

Wordplay: Lemonade - Save the Lemon.

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

C Day Lewis.

"I'd just as soon it wasn't cut into those funny little pieces, if you don't mind."

'Too many exclamation points!!!!!!'

"The madness started with the cow and spread to the others."

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

The Keyboard

Ever since I was a calf, I've always wanted my own henchman!

Poet