Oratorical Wizard Pillows

'Does that mean that Mary was a surrogate mother?'

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Backfire

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Name your sources."

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

'With this organ transplant, you may find yourself doing a lot of thinking with your heart,'

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

Wordplay: Lemonade - Save the Lemon.

"So your successful fantasy novels are based on your own experiences....can you elaborate on that?"

"And she's an interesting conversationalist, too."

"This big eraser? It's for graphic novels."

"I need some help to write my self-help book..."

The Ballad of the Lavender Dot

Debug

"Socrates, you have an answer for everything, you can convince anyone of anything, and you know everything. You ought to become a lawyer."

'Dad, you have to understand me. . . when I realized he was not prince Charming I was already in love with him.'

Well spoken man.

'Y.C.M.A.? Looks like we got dyslexic disco dancers in the house.'

Wonderland Basketball. Wow! Lots of surprises going to the final four next week! How did the team with Goldilocks make it? Everything had to go just right! Rip van Winkle is a surprise, too. He hasn't been there in twenty years! And nobody can figure out how Hansel and Gretel found their way there. But I think the team with the wicked stepmother and her stepdaughter is the biggest shock! Yeah, it's a classic Cinderella story!

"I detect an accent — one that's down on its luck and has had too much to drink."

"I hope you know that by sending me to bed I'm out of the zone now! What's Spanish for big, fat loophole?"

"I'm speaking with you this evening without the benefit of speech-writers or teleprompters. Thank you and good night."

Big Speech

King vs King- who's the clown?

Stepping up to the podium/Standing up to the podium

'I thought up an incredible sting of rapid-fire witticisms. Too bad they came two hours after my speech.'

Ears Of Wheat

The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Cards: Get Well Get hit by a Bus

Bully Pulpit

Spin Doctors INC