Oratorical Wizard T-Shirts

'Does that mean that Mary was a surrogate mother?'

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Backfire

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

"So your successful fantasy novels are based on your own experiences....can you elaborate on that?"

Wordplay: Lemonade - Save the Lemon.

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

"And she's an interesting conversationalist, too."

"This big eraser? It's for graphic novels."

"I need some help to write my self-help book..."

Debug

"Socrates, you have an answer for everything, you can convince anyone of anything, and you know everything. You ought to become a lawyer."

Well spoken man.

'Dad, you have to understand me. . . when I realized he was not prince Charming I was already in love with him.'

'Y.C.M.A.? Looks like we got dyslexic disco dancers in the house.'

"I hope you know that by sending me to bed I'm out of the zone now! What's Spanish for big, fat loophole?"

"I detect an accent — one that's down on its luck and has had too much to drink."

Big Speech

King vs King- who's the clown?

'I thought up an incredible sting of rapid-fire witticisms. Too bad they came two hours after my speech.'

Ears Of Wheat

The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Cards: Get Well Get hit by a Bus

Bully Pulpit

'Howard Yonkers, World's fastest reader.'

Spin Doctors INC