Bilingual Explorer Pillows

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

Campaign for Plain English

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Why we need poetry. . .

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

EU and India partnership.

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

Most valuable element.

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

Famous Oxymorons...

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

A Semicolon.

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

Apostrophe. . . Apostropher

"I can't believe this! All these filthy messages on your cell phone! And so many of them! What is it? 100? 500? 1,000?"

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"My English teacher says there are many ways to solve a problem...my math teacher says there is one."

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

"I will not tolerate that language in this house. What is it,anyway - Latin?"

Dinosaurs of the Palindromic Era.