Big Screen Connoisseur Gifts

"And, that's the new extension for my new plasma TV screen."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Big screen TV falling through floor

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Binary Man

Film Lovers.

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Time Machine Collision.

"Aha Mr. Bond - you are in my power!....but instead of just killing you, I'll blether on and on about my plans for world domination so you have time to think of an ingenious way to escape my clutches..."

Jack Nicholson

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

Moliere

'What will it be tonight? Gore and dismemberment, idiotic and foul-mouthed comedy aimed at fifteen-year-old boys, a macho revenge fantasy, or our special combo platter?'

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

Charles Dickens.

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

C Day Lewis.

Bleak House

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

Robert Denarii: 'You talin' to me.'

"I like the big screen TV, but it makes my bass seem so small."

"I told you we should have got the smaller screen."

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

'My head's in the shop, this is just a loaner.'

Roger Moore