Bidding Rival Gifts

'Are you looking at my bid?'

Polygamists' Picnic

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"These are Fzjhyg's sales figures for the month? I can run crop circles round him."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'I think it's really tacky to make the salesperson of the month someone from another firm.'

Fight on the top

'My app just ate your widget.'

'Make no mistake Wetherall, it's a jungle out there.'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

"Well, they were the low bidders."

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

'This information is on a need-to-screw-others basis.'

"Do I have a cough, a harumph, a wink, a tic? Sold then to the smirk for a million-five."

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

'Sitting on the dock of eBay, wasting time...'

Trick Number 9: plant valuables in his room...in case you need a reason for a quick getaway.

This is the twenty-first century, silly --- Log onto eBay and make a bid!

Rodin's Late Arriver