Bidders' Break Pillows

Auction Rooms - Going...Going...Gone to Lunch

E-Baying @ The Moon

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

"Well, they were the low bidders."

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

"My bid falls between my two competitors'. By using twigs, my design is more structurally sound than straw, yet more cost-effective than brick."

"Do I have a cough, a harumph, a wink, a tic? Sold then to the smirk for a million-five."

'Just follow my voice to the checkout stand.'

Auctioneer upside down so he can read bid number

"I brought this electric guitar on ebay last week."

Rodin's Late Arriver

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

Idiot! I told you there'd be a catch to buying a tank on eBay

Woman sells on eBay and husband bids on same item.

'Blake Construction lost $500,000 on the Fenton Job. Thank God they underbid us by $100.'

'That sneeze bid in a used bull-dozer!'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

Bidder 2 bids £4 - 'Peel bids £5. Take that, Bidder 2.' - 'Bidder 2 bids £6.' - '£8. How you like it now, bitch, eh?!' - 'Bidder 2 bids £9.' - 'Give me the damn 'bread maker'!!!' -

'Dude, it looks like I have the rest of the evening off work, so I'll be able to go to the basketball game after all!'