Bidders' Break Pillows

Auction Rooms - Going...Going...Gone to Lunch

E-Baying @ The Moon

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

"At least you made it into the hallway."

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

"Well, they were the low bidders."

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

"My bid falls between my two competitors'. By using twigs, my design is more structurally sound than straw, yet more cost-effective than brick."

"It's from eBay! I won a cigarette lighter for a 1964 Chevy Impala. I make my dreams come true one bid at a time."

"Do I have a cough, a harumph, a wink, a tic? Sold then to the smirk for a million-five."

'Just follow my voice to the checkout stand.'

'Sitting on the dock of eBay, wasting time...'

Idiot! I told you there'd be a catch to buying a tank on eBay

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

This is the twenty-first century, silly --- Log onto eBay and make a bid!

Rodin's Late Arriver

"I brought this electric guitar on ebay last week."

Auctioneer upside down so he can read bid number

Man bids at Internet auction site

Woman sells on eBay and husband bids on same item.

'Blake Construction lost $500,000 on the Fenton Job. Thank God they underbid us by $100.'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

'All right, who's been buying things on eBay and charging them to my lab account?'

And now lot 36, the Picasso. Only one owner, a little old lady...

'That sneeze bid in a used bull-dozer!'