Bicep Buff Pillows

"I quit."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

7 brownies worth of exercise.

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.

'Very funny!'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

Pollyanna, the Hamster

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

Easter Island

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

Bass Clef

Spider Clown.

"That chew toy was boring, so I got on your computer. Apparently, neither one of you has a clue about basic computer security and maintenance."

"You're tattooed all over although you're not a football pro?! Man, that's cultural appropriation!"

Clown doing curl with barbell has springing ball emerge from bicep.

"Don't get excited. She's just warming up!"

"There's no use in hiding. The smart treadmill knows you're home. You might as well go get your workout clothes on."

A boy boasting of his strength

'Her and her silicone implants!'

"Please tell me you recently lowered the floor."

The perils of boob jobs.

Remote control sheepdog

'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'

Fisherman.

'Drinks are $7.00. If you talk, it's $150.00 an hour.'

The time has come for the revenge of the cows.

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."