Bicep Show-off Pillows

A boy boasting of his strength

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

'Selling a stock and marking a profit is better than selling it at a loss, if only for the bragging rights.'

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"You've got to give Hunter top marks for presentation."

"...and I'm an incredibly flexible gymnast. If you get my drift..."

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

'You wouldn't listen to me. You have to buy the biggest tree in the lot!'

"Miss Rudolf... you're pregnant!"

Clown doing curl with barbell has springing ball emerge from bicep.

"If anyone wants me I'll be on the shop floor strutting my stuff."

King of the Swingers.

'That was the most spins I ever saw anyone do!'

'Well my anchor is bigger than your anchor!'

Superstar photographs himself making the catch.

"I quit."

"You can't just give a regular lecture. You have to use pyrotechnics."

Boy and horse rider

'Now that's what I call a trickshot!'

Man uses scissor device with lighter attached to light big cigar.

'I wouldn't read that book, dear...it's only there to impress visitors.'

'Well, when in doubt, I always say, pick the wine that'll impress the hell out of the complete strangers at the next table.'

'I love dogs. I love kids. But when they come in alone I'm not going to get paid."

Skateboarding peacock.

'I've always been a bit of a ladies' man.'

Grandstander!

National Upstagers Society

Golden Violinist

"Can I have your autograph?"

'Go around the park just one more time.'

'No, I left the price on to impress the neighbours.'