Body Modification Buff Pillows

It was the last time Colin would buy anything on the internet.

The perils of boob jobs.

"Okay so maybe I had a little work done..."

Flies 'n' Maggots tattoo

Plumber with taps for a penis.

"You're tattooed all over although you're not a football pro?! Man, that's cultural appropriation!"

Muscles

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

7 brownies worth of exercise.

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'It's caused by doing too many wrist curls, overindulging in spinach and... Excuse me. Everyone in here - stat - if you want to see an actual case of 'Popeye Syndrome'!'

'Very funny!'

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

Pollyanna, the Hamster

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

The Coffee Tattoo

'All I can say is my wife worked out every day when she was pregnant.'

'Since I got this exercise ball, my abs have gotten into the best shape they've ever been!'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

The Wonder Gym.

1. Wealthy people will consider hiring others to do their exercise for them. They should not give in to this temptation, as studies have shown that this seriously slows down any truly serious body-building campaign. 2. The key word in isometrics is balance. Be sure every part of your body shares in the fun equally and you will be able to avoid awkward developments.

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

Angel with a halo nose piercing.