Biblical Banquet Attendee Gifts

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Sloaney Pony.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

All dressed up and no place to go

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

Girl's hair comes unfastened as a dance is about to begin

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

Applause

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"The Pastor requested that no decaf be served. The congregation is nodding off during service."

"I didn't realise it was a formal do."

"This goes to our Most Aggressive Defender and, ironicall, first person ever to foul out of an awards banquet..."

Umpire's Banquet.

A guest at a dinner party requesting some champagne

"You don't find a style. A style finds you."

'Careful! Don't drink this here grape juice they're servin'. I've had three bottles now, and my head's a spinnin'.'

Dog with balloon, y-fronts, and party hat

'I think I see why attendance has been down.'

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

'Be sure to take a companion that matches your dress, young lady!'

"Where's the nearest Detux centre?"

Wife leaving note 'midnight mass' on husbands distended stomache as she leaves house.

The Official Talking Christmas Tree in Dress For Excess

"Would you care to join me and my wife - we'd like to try the ten person banquet menu."

Turkey Black Fridays.

Cinderella, you shall go to the ball!

"David! It's only trendy to drink beer straight from the bottle!"

Red and Yellow dress

'Is this communion wafer gluten free?'

"We'll alternate the windbags with the hard-of-hearing."

Service lift.

Dead rock star plays loud music in heaven

Hoax Squad