Beverage Enjoyment Pillows

'You've had enough!'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

You've Had Enough!

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

The Alpha Seltzer

Shaken not stirred

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

7 Dwarves of Retirement

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Scotch and water musick."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."