Betting Analyst Pillows

"I'm bringing on Josh here for when we take over fantasy sports betting."

"Watch out for the linebacker over the middle and the guy in section 7 whose point spread you ruined."

Match-fixing (cricket)

"The match fixers are making it a bit obvious."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Little league world series of poker.

A day at the races

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'I don't like to take chances.'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Cricket Accidents.

The Other Cooperstown

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Centaur Forward

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

Basketball.