Sports Betting Aficionado Pillows

'Okay, maybe I was defeated for re-election, but at least I beat the point spread!'

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

How I met your mother

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

Football.

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Fox hunting.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

Destination casinos...

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

Post Game Day Betting.

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

"Would you like something by an over promoted high-price athlete or a nobody from Jersey?"