Betting Afficionado Pillows

'Actually I don't care either way. I bet £100 that you would fail me...'

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

'You only said to bring home a feather duster. You never said what kind.'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

Destination casinos...

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

Football.

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

Fox hunting.

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."