Betting Bravado Enthusiast Pillows

'Funny how, before the race, you know exactly who will win, and after the race exactly why they didn't.'

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

Destination casinos...

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

Post Game Day Betting.

'Okay, maybe I was defeated for re-election, but at least I beat the point spread!'

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

"Hey Kevin! Care to enter the office football pool!"

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

'Hey, we're doing an office pool on who gets to bust that illegal card game on Main.'

Spot the Ball connoisseur

"Watch out for the linebacker over the middle and the guy in section 7 whose point spread you ruined."

"He's in a high stake poker game right now."

'Remember, guys... we've got to clean up this mess before the folks get home.'

A tortoise walks away from a poker game, having lost its shell.

'Don't put any money on him. I saw him placing a bet on the favourite.'

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

An affair to remember.

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"I expected it to be a lot busier on our opening night."

I've never seen anyone so confident about a race!

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

Game Hen on a Downward Spiral: 'What the hell. I ain't no chicken! I'm bettin' it all!'

'Alright, alright, you've won your bet: You can lift me with one hand...'

"We have a fund with a new, advanced financial strategy but it hasn't been tested on humans.''

A Good Bet.

'Just lend me a little bit more. I feel lucky.'

'Pickpocket is an outside bet...left purse on bus is favourite!' (Security at the races on the phone over a reported missing purse).

Did you have to bring your chicken?

IRS AUDIT DEPARTMENT, 'It's a bet -- if I don't take the next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'