Beret Collector T-Shirts

Drawing on the left side of the barn.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

"It's called, 'Goth'."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

"I was going to get a cat but they had an offer on."

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

Baby blanket.

'Beret Night at the Museum'

Bling Crosby.

'Do these pants come with bigger belt loops?'

"Someday, son, all this crap will be yours."

Let's do the continental.

"She's a weiner cat."

The house that Ruth built.

Mirror, mirror, oval in shape, who's that pretentious beret-wearing ape?

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

There's nothing like a bit of bunting to draw you in!

Artist dreaming about himself painting.

Nice toupee, Dr. Kapuchnik. But … is it honest? At least a toupee is honest about its dishonesty, Al. Compared to what? A beret.

'Not much to show for 25 years of investing in wine--unless maybe you add back the 9,000 empties!'

'Well, I've got my moto, my bling from E-bay, and Gerald here is my bitch. So everything's fine, you?'

"So how long have you had this ringing in your ears?"

"It's disappointing, but if that's the biggest you've got ..."

'If you have trouble with cold feet in bed, you will find this dog is equivalent to two blankets.'

'How'd you wind up with two batons?'

Peter Dinklage

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

What's the key to being a great artist, Al? Is it the beret? Don't be silly, Axel. It's the smock.