Beret Aficionados Gifts

Mirror, mirror, oval in shape, who's that pretentious beret-wearing ape?

I like the Jets...I guess

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"At my age kiddo, you enjoy the simple pleasures: a comfy cushion and a heat-lamp..."

Drawing on the left side of the barn.

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

A skier and a paraglider

'I don't even care about the score, catty. I just enjoy the long walk.'

David and Goliath.

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Beret Night at the Museum'

"All that praying for snow finally paid off."

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

"I can't shake the feeling there's always someone looking over my shoulder."

"I'm here to gets the gold"

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

'Remember that summer we coached little league?'

"Hey Kevin! Care to enter the office football pool!"

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

Boy spinning basketball on finger next to dog spinning ball on wagging tail.

'Last quarter, Jeremy, you dropped two passes. Could you tell our viewers how you plant to catch this pass?'

"Too bad for you that the judge rules in favor of dogs playing in varsity sorts."

STRIP Golfer turned Javelin thrower