Benevolent Badge Wearer Gifts

"I'll bet those campaign ribbons have a lot of stories."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

'What's with the cocoa tin lid?'

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

Continental marshal

Beer Sergeant.

'Entente Cordiale: When Eric [Cantona]kisses the badge on his shirt it turns round and kisses him right back!'

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

'How many merit badges do you have?'

"Here comes my doctor ... I know the click and clatter of his ID badges."

"I can assure you, it's a real degree... not an honorary one!"

'I do not spend that much time at the office.'

Boy Scouts trying to get their free fall badges

"Nice! You know dressing up isn't a requirement right?!"

'I got this one for failing to earn a merit badge.'

"Nothing to be concerned about. We just want to show you our phony badges and then leave."

"Uh, oh, I forgot this is evaluation day..."

'I'm going back as a ghost. It's time to give something back to the community.'

Animal Overachievers

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

'That's my camping badge, that's my cooking, that's my orienteering and that's my nicotine patch.'

'He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated.'

Edward Cranston, four-letter general.

Welcome: Psychics Convention.