Benevolent Badge Wearer Mugs

"I'll bet those campaign ribbons have a lot of stories."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

'What's with the cocoa tin lid?'

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

Beer Sergeant.

Continental marshal

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

'How many merit badges do you have?'

"I can assure you, it's a real degree... not an honorary one!"

"Here comes my doctor ... I know the click and clatter of his ID badges."

'I do not spend that much time at the office.'

Boy Scouts trying to get their free fall badges

'I got this one for failing to earn a merit badge.'

"Nice! You know dressing up isn't a requirement right?!"

"Nothing to be concerned about. We just want to show you our phony badges and then leave."

"Uh, oh, I forgot this is evaluation day..."

Edward Cranston, four-letter general.

Animal Overachievers

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

'That's my camping badge, that's my cooking, that's my orienteering and that's my nicotine patch.'

'I'm going back as a ghost. It's time to give something back to the community.'

'He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated.'

Welcome: Psychics Convention.

'And this one is my Ritalin patch.'