Belly Rub Expert Pillows

"Belly rubs are a gateway activity that leads to chasing bunnies and fetching frisbees."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

'When is science going to explain the dark matter I find in my belly button every morning?'

"They rubbed my tummy, chief- I told them everything."

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

'Will work for tummy rub.'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"He's in a high stake poker game right now."

'I'm all in.'

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

"I need to get back in the gym."

"The bad news is, no walk. The good news is, unlimited belly rubs, chase around the dining room table, salmon for dinner, and you're on my bed tonight."

Innie Outie

"Here's a free tip for you, kid: learn how to brood. Most people in the world mistake it for depth."

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"Please excuse him...interns always worry patients don't think they're real doctors!"

"And if this prescription doesn't work, see if you can get someone to rub your belly. That always make me feel better."

Welcome to Umbilicoplasty aesthetic surgery

Surgery.

Dogs enter lottery for belly rubs.

Stomach Fishing.

National Belly Button Society: Innies and Outies.

'Well-hung is a necessity...now he's retired.'

'He's easy to bluff...'

Another stomach successfully stapled.

'Inny' and 'Outy' trays in the Dept. of Belly Buttons

"… Now a little to the left … that's it, honey, nice … mmm … OK, now get lost."

"Thanks for the walks, tasty treats and rubbing my belly with vigor. I could only love you more if you made my food dish much bigger."