Belly Rub Expert T-Shirts

"Belly rubs are a gateway activity that leads to chasing bunnies and fetching frisbees."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

The First Domesticated Dog: "Can you compete with a free life time supply of tummy rubs? . . . Well?. . . Yeah, I didn't think so."

'When is science going to explain the dark matter I find in my belly button every morning?'

"They rubbed my tummy, chief- I told them everything."

Why do they prefer a pitcher to a belly itcher? Everyone loves a belly itcher!

'Will work for tummy rub.'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"He's in a high stake poker game right now."

'I'm all in.'

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

"The bad news is, no walk. The good news is, unlimited belly rubs, chase around the dining room table, salmon for dinner, and you're on my bed tonight."

Innie Outie

"I need to get back in the gym."

"Here's a free tip for you, kid: learn how to brood. Most people in the world mistake it for depth."

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"Please excuse him...interns always worry patients don't think they're real doctors!"

Surgery.

Welcome to Umbilicoplasty aesthetic surgery

"And if this prescription doesn't work, see if you can get someone to rub your belly. That always make me feel better."

Stomach Fishing.

National Belly Button Society: Innies and Outies.

'Well-hung is a necessity...now he's retired.'

"Just what I wanted !...an Empty box!"

Dogs enter lottery for belly rubs.

'He's easy to bluff...'

Linda mad a killing during slow-moving commuter traffic.

"… Now a little to the left … that's it, honey, nice … mmm … OK, now get lost."

Another stomach successfully stapled.

"Thanks for the walks, tasty treats and rubbing my belly with vigor. I could only love you more if you made my food dish much bigger."