Believer's Confidant Pillows

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Time for tea and friendship.

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Priest

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Monk Prompt

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"The buck really stops with him."

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

Men's Prayer Group.

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'