Bedtime Struggle Pillows

'It just turned tomorrow.'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

"Oh, Aunt Em, it wasn't a dream. It was a place. And you and you and you ... and you were there. But not that man with the straitjacket."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

'I don't mind him sleeping on our bed but why must he wear MY pyjamas?'

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

A boy who doesn't want to put down his drum while he prays

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

Sleeping masks

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my payers now!"

Then Cinderella married the Prince and had to learn how to dodge the paparazzi.

". . . Then she married the wealthiest man in the word and they lived happily ever after, all be it separately."

"That's it?! Boy exploits tree, tree suffers? Shel Silverstein was nuts!"

Parents sleeping with a new baby.

'Can you leave the light on? It's hard to sleep with the dark shining in my eyes.'

"Which side do you want?"

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

'I don't mind sharing my bed with you, but do you have to wear my pajamas?'

"See you in the morning."

"We learn an important lesson from all this - from curds and whey, and pease porridge, and bread and honey. Eat natural foods."

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'