Bedtime Battle Survivor Pillows

Stop hogging the sheets

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

Father nursing his sick child

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

A boy who doesn't want to put down his drum while he prays

'And another thing - you hog the duvet!'

'Mom, will you play me a bedtime story on tape?'

Sleeping masks

"I have made some notes about last night's story, that I would like you to clarify."

"Yeah, I'm the Tooth Fairy. But you're gonna have to take a check."

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my payers now!"

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

Parents sleeping with a new baby.

Bob takes care of this monster-under-the-bed business once and for all.

Bedtime Reading

'Can you leave the light on? It's hard to sleep with the dark shining in my eyes.'

A sleeping man counting scuba-diving sheep

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'

Bed time stories

'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'

'They saved their files before closing and lived happily ever after.'

"Many, many news cycles ago..."

Teeth out for a soak.

Dad says to baby, 'If you keep this up you'll go to bed right this second, in a minute.'

"You can't send me to bed now - now when events are breaking so fast."