Bedtime Organizer Gifts

"See you in the morning."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

Baby reading 'To do list'.

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"Did you remember to do everything I asked, even the small things I said in passing that didn't sound like real requests?"

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

''...And they all lived slap-happily ever after.''

"Read it again, Daddy!"

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

"...went to sleep. And then Mr. Donkey became very quiet and drowsy and he went to sleep. And then Miss Mouse became very quiet and drowsy and she went to sleep. And then Mrs. Bear became very quiet and drowsy and she went to sleep. And then..."

"Mind if I read a little?"

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

Sleeping masks

"We should get a lot of money from the tooth fairy. I set out grandpa's false teeth!"