Bedtime Routine Navigator Gifts

'You shouldn't give that to a kid before bedtime. You know that will just wind him up.'

'The problem being a kid is that the hours are lousy!'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

The Tooth Ferret

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

No caption (A daughter shines a light from her cellphone as her dad makes a Twitter icon shadow puppet).

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

''...And they all lived slap-happily ever after.''

"Read it again, Daddy!"

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

'She let the bedbugs bite.'