Bedtime Decision-maker Gifts

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"Houston, we have a problem!"

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'... I couldn't remember if I had switched off the light!'

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

'Early to bed and early to rise? It's a deal.'

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

Please take them off

Sleeping masks

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

The Force of Example.

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

'Early to bed and early to rise. I like a saying with an escape clause.'

"Turn off the TV and go to bed - I'm your mother, and I approved this message."

'Its your bedtime, Billy, come along quietly.'

Exercise for the end of the day...

"See you in the morning."

'They saved their files before closing and lived happily ever after.'

"Many, many news cycles ago..."

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

"I'm fine with you self-isolating, but must you bring your work to bed?"

'I'll only be using it as a night light.'

'School vacation is over...come along quietly.'

"No, no, boy. It's Tuesday. Wednesdays are your nights to sleep on the big bed."

"But I'm not even tir..."

We have mandatory retirement at my house, too. They make me go to bed by eight-thirty.