Bedtime Balance Seeker Gifts

Exercise for the end of the day...

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

Please take them off

Sleeping masks

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

"I lost my reading glasses, so pick something wordless."

'You shouldn't give that to a kid before bedtime. You know that will just wind him up.'

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."

"He's afraid of heights."

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

The Force of Example.

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

"Turn off the TV and go to bed - I'm your mother, and I approved this message."

'Its your bedtime, Billy, come along quietly.'

"See you in the morning."

'They saved their files before closing and lived happily ever after.'

"Many, many news cycles ago..."

We have mandatory retirement at my house, too. They make me go to bed by eight-thirty.

'School vacation is over...come along quietly.'

'The problem being a kid is that the hours are lousy!'

"Nice try with the sound effects, dad, but you're still no mom!"

Instead of caps and gowns, night school graduates have to wear nightcaps and nightgowns.

"Mom" Dad! I got dressed and brushed my teeth! Can I go outside and play?!"

'Time for bed.'

'Hey, God - it's me, Freddie! But You already knew that, right?'

Suggestion box attached to headboard on bed

'It just turned tomorrow.'

'How come we never have porridge?'

"I'm not 'looking to further my toxic agenda' I'm just telling you it's your bedtime."