Becoming A Teenager Gifts

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

Teenage Angst.

"No young Mistress has not taken drama lessons. It's a side effect of her turning 13, but yes, I agree, her dramatic skills are quite impressive..."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie: I'm really excited about being old enough (13) to have my own cellphone soon. But my dad won't get me the iPhone X. He'll only get me an Android. Yuck. SMH. How do I get him to understand how much that's going to ruin my life so that he'll get me the X? HMB, Charlotte. I would like modern society to reconsider its freakish aversion to corporal punishment! I mean l ... thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com

Mom! Can I borrow your blush, mascara and eyeliner? No. I want to look more like you! Ok. You can have my cosmetics. Thank you

"Now that she's a teenager, I can't lick her face anymore: she puts on this horrible-tasting make-up..."

"Since she became a teenager, she goes to bed later and later: We can't roam the house at night anymore..."

"MOM! Connor got all tangled up in his keychain lanyard again!"

'Now that I'm old enough to watch these TV shows without parental supervision, they don't interest me.'

'I dreamed last night that she was sixteen and had a learner's permit.'

'Yeah, I use ATMs all the time, but I refer to them as 'Mom' and 'Dad'.'

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

'Not till you're sixteen.'

"I want to be prepared for my teen years,so I want to practice being mouthy and moody now."

"Well, if not now, can I have a man cave after I reach puberty?"

"If it's not 'clean you room', it's 'take out the trash' or 'mow the lawn'. . . I can't wait 'til I'm an adult and I can boss around my kids!"

'Teenagers!'

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Three more years of high school."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

PROBLEM AREAS

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."