Beauty Treatment Gifts

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Can you make her look less like her passport photo?"

Face Lift

"That reminds me, Hon. Your Botox shipment arrived yesterday."

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'Mom's Spa'

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

The Tragedy of Prosperity

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'My hair is so bad I have to cut it myself. I tried going to a hair salon once - they just yelled at it.'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

Complete Makeover

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

Botox sharpei

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"Rare, medium or well done?"

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

"She's had work done on those."

'That will be $600, thank you...'