Beauty Treatment Gifts

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Can you make her look less like her passport photo?"

Face Lift

"That reminds me, Hon. Your Botox shipment arrived yesterday."

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'Mom's Spa'

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

The Tragedy of Prosperity

'My hair is so bad I have to cut it myself. I tried going to a hair salon once - they just yelled at it.'

Complete Makeover

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Botox sharpei

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."

"She's had work done on those."

God's Manicure.

'I'd like to move into aromatherapy.'