Beauty School Student Gifts

Shampoo School. Lather and rinse. Excuse me, could you repeat that?

"Dude, I didn't spend 2 years in hairstyling school just to shave your head!"

The Art Student.

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Just call me Picasso!

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

Trust

German School

Vincent Van Og.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Tuck Shop

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

Modern Portrait Gallery

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

'Picasso'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"