Beauty Aficionado T-Shirts

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

'Like the Brazilian?'

'See you later, Honey.'

Where bikini wax comes from.

'I sold it to a plastic surgeon.'

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'This won't hurt.'

'This new perfume is called 'Surrender'.'

'Here I am...just back from the beauty parlor...'

'Someone offered you a senior discount today, didn't they, Margaret?'

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

'Since the botox, I've had to give up Expressionism.'

"I figured as long as I was having the thorn taken out of my paw, might as well have a body scrub and get my mane redone."

'I need a new scent.'

Complimentary Medicine

The Toilette of Salome I - suppressed version

Some anti-wrinkle cream, please.

'Yes, my wife does look like a million dollars. Unfortunately it cost me three million to get her to look like that!'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'My strawberry cleansing cream, sesame oil skin moisturiser, and goat's milk soap have ruined my diet. At this rate I won't fit into my wedding gown.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'Are they finished? Right, wait until I report this to trading standards!'

"You can keep that horrible nose if you like. I'll just make your skinny face bigger."

Woman dresses up to talk to a suitor on the phone.

"The dermatologist finally cleared up my teenage acne. Now it's time to schedule a facelift."

Nail bar

"Sure she looks young. She pays a tree surgeon to prune away old growth."

'They haven't turned your clock back far enough!'

Mobile Gadgets

"I want to study you a moment as you are."

Alice's range of expressions after Botox.

'Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest... yikes.'

Supermodel Birthday Parties.