Beauty Aficionado T-Shirts

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

'See you later, Honey.'

'Like the Brazilian?'

'I sold it to a plastic surgeon.'

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'This won't hurt.'

"I figured as long as I was having the thorn taken out of my paw, might as well have a body scrub and get my mane redone."

'Since the botox, I've had to give up Expressionism.'

'This new perfume is called 'Surrender'.'

'Here I am...just back from the beauty parlor...'

'Someone offered you a senior discount today, didn't they, Margaret?'

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

'Yes, my wife does look like a million dollars. Unfortunately it cost me three million to get her to look like that!'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Are they finished? Right, wait until I report this to trading standards!'

'I need a new scent.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'My strawberry cleansing cream, sesame oil skin moisturiser, and goat's milk soap have ruined my diet. At this rate I won't fit into my wedding gown.'

Some anti-wrinkle cream, please.

The Toilette of Salome I - suppressed version

Complimentary Medicine

"I want to study you a moment as you are."

Alice's range of expressions after Botox.

'Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest... yikes.'

'Dr. Bluestein, you do wonderful work, now I look completely natural.'

"You wish you were ten years younger? Surely you mean twenty, dear?"

"You can keep that horrible nose if you like. I'll just make your skinny face bigger."

'I've tried everything. My skin is still as dry as an elephant's trunk.'

Mobile Gadgets

'They haven't turned your clock back far enough!'

"Sure she looks young. She pays a tree surgeon to prune away old growth."

Nail bar

"The dermatologist finally cleared up my teenage acne. Now it's time to schedule a facelift."