Beauty Advocate Gifts

"Does my body make me look fat?"

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Have you got your make up on yet?

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

Desert Dermatologist

"Hair spray"

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

New Twenty Blades

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"