Unconventional Beauty Advocate Gifts

'Forsake all others-WHAT others?'

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Have you got your make up on yet?

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

New Twenty Blades

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

Mirror mirror...

'Botox...'

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

Complete Makeover

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"More concealer?"

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'