Unconventional Beauty Seekers Gifts

The Ugly Plant

"Botox."

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

Tips on how to reduce those unsightly crow's feet.

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

"So what's your success rate?"

"You've taken those hideous curlers out, had a scrub up, shaved your legs. Looks like it's your lucky night babe."

'What do you think? Edible nail polish.'

"I told you she'd had some work done."

Primavera (Spring)

"I'll bet you'd like me if I had curly hair."

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

Landscape artist

'Sure, I can make you look like Venus de Milo, but it will take two amputations!'

Cosmetic surgeon tells Ugly Duckling: 'Of course, there's a POSSIBILITY that you are a swan, but do you want to take that risk?'

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

Cosmetics keep men from reading between the lines.

The power of positive affirmations

'Perfect.'

"You mean to say you haven't even put your face on yet?"

Flo didn't know what was odder: the beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that she actually tried this beauty tip.

"It says here that they have chopped down all the palm trees and blow up the rocks to make the place look more natural..."

'Honey, I need some money for a facial: I need to look my best with all these photo safaris around...'

"Supersize me."

"Sorry mate - I can't come to the pub after the match because I've got to embarrass myself filming an advert for moisturiser."

'Plastic Surgery, come as you are and leave as you wish'

'I want a smaller carrot.'

Fish Pedicure

Beauty Salon - "I'm just sorry we couldn't do more for you."

Caribou With Big Plans.

"I get my looks from my father...he's a plastic surgeon."