Unconventional Beauty Seekers Pillows

The Ugly Plant

"Botox."

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

Tips on how to reduce those unsightly crow's feet.

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

"You've taken those hideous curlers out, had a scrub up, shaved your legs. Looks like it's your lucky night babe."

"So what's your success rate?"

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

'What do you think? Edible nail polish.'

'Sure, I can make you look like Venus de Milo, but it will take two amputations!'

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

Landscape artist

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

"I told you she'd had some work done."

"I'll bet you'd like me if I had curly hair."

Primavera (Spring)

Cosmetic surgeon tells Ugly Duckling: 'Of course, there's a POSSIBILITY that you are a swan, but do you want to take that risk?'

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

"It says here that they have chopped down all the palm trees and blow up the rocks to make the place look more natural..."

'Perfect.'

Cosmetics keep men from reading between the lines.

The power of positive affirmations

"You mean to say you haven't even put your face on yet?"

Flo didn't know what was odder: the beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that she actually tried this beauty tip.

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

'Honey, I need some money for a facial: I need to look my best with all these photo safaris around...'

"Supersize me."

"Sorry mate - I can't come to the pub after the match because I've got to embarrass myself filming an advert for moisturiser."

'Plastic Surgery, come as you are and leave as you wish'

'I want a smaller carrot.'

Fish Pedicure

"I'm sorry we don't restore antiques."

Beauty Salon - "I'm just sorry we couldn't do more for you."

'So there I was thinking I was in lipo-sculpture, when really it was Colonic irrigation...anal vapour-blasting more like it'