Beard Care Gifts

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'Before he grew his beard, Kris Kringle was know as St 'Nick', patron saint of people who cut themselves shaving.'

"I see you're into personal growth."

'I'm afraid I'm going to have to send you directly to an Ear, Nose and Beard Specialist

Man in sunlight - sun making his hair grow.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"And it was here that we reached peak beard."

"Do you remember when razors were give away?"

Baby clinging to beard

"Well yes sit, usually a bit of grey does look distinguished in a beard. . ."

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

Two men in barber shop

"She admired my goatee, so I admired her mustache."

When beardy blokes meet...

"That's Rip Van Winkle?..."

"It was four forty-nine on a Wednesday evening and my five o'clock shadow as ready to pounce."

Strategic Growth.

'Growing a beard?' - 'Yes, not so much face to wash.'

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

Man reads magazine entitles Which Midlife Crisis?

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

"It's my emotional-support beard."

Armstrong, what's "beardilizer," and why's our menu say we can add it to any coffee drink? Studies show the male hipster spends 14% more on coffee than the average patron. Studies also show that 78% of male hipsters are trying to grow huge lumberjack beards. Studies also show that a pallet of fertilizer somehow flew off of a freight train as it passed by my house last week. Very bad man. Remind me to thank whoever added that speed-bump to the train tracks by my house.

"No one's going to think that's a mask."

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Hair Crop Circle

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Joined at the hipster.

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Be creative...!"

wattle covers

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

The Beard in the Stone