Beard Grooming Gifts

Blackbeard needed help living up to his name.

Cactus owner with a spiky beard.

Beard helper

Stormtrooper takes off the helmet.

"I didn't waste lockdown, I learned how to knit my new beard."

"I seek not the truth. I seek beard grooming tips."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"My only regret is asking you to shave your beard."

Mmpf Mfggle...

Sorry, the beard is at an awkward stage

"Put that out! It's over. And lose the goatee."

'He's supposed to be the world's oldest turtle!'

'Can I send this back? Somehow a hair got in my soup.'

'Are you sure you haven't got your head on upside-down, sir?'

A Moosetache.

A Guide to Beards...

"When it fills in I'm hoping for the texture of corduroy."

Hipster and his beard in a mug.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Hair Crop Circle

"Be creative...!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

"Wow, what a DILF."

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Bearded Leftie.