Bear Humorist Gifts

'Bearnaise sauce again,' he cried. 'I can't bear the thought of it!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Scuba cow"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Cats at private view

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Dogs life

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'