Beans Aficionado Gifts

"Gentlemen, let's pick it up again with 'I Been Livin' on Cold Navy Beans.'"

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

Clown's Comedy Fart.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

"I want to spill the beans, but I'm waiting till I have access to classified or sensitive beans."

'The meat of their order is coming up.'

Baseball.

"Easy on the fast balls, will you, kid?"

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

Where Jelly Beans Come From....

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"

F&E Produce. I had interesting customers today. First, a beautician checked out the purple potatoes and yellow beets. Ah, a hair stylist inspected the colored roots! That card shark bought some fruit. Two pears, I'll bet! A journalist was searching for an onion alternative. He needs leeks! And labor negotiators requested to increase their usual vegetable order. They asked for a celery hike, eh? I think the customers are the best part of this job. Yeah, you never know who will turnip!

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'No glove. No hat. No shoes. ... I'm sorry, Andy, but I'm bringing in a new pitcher. You just don't have your stuff today.'

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

Clinic. Let's see … Have there been any injuries, digestive disorders or malpractice suits today? Nope - No hits, no runs, no errors.

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

"Hey, Mister, can we have our hairball back?"

"Sure, I'm a fan but I don't think I'm rabid."

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

Can I get you another coffee?

'Watch out for the hidden ball trick.'