The Bean Aficionado Gifts

"You come home to find me eating beans from a giant can. How do you think my day went?"

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Clown's Comedy Fart.

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"I want to spill the beans, but I'm waiting till I have access to classified or sensitive beans."

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

Where Jelly Beans Come From....

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"

Can I get you another coffee?

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

House Plant Party

'The good news is I'm down to one latte a day.'

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

Middle Distance Runners

Before the Salivating Dogs

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

"Never mind the cost of living crisis, dear, you still need your 5-a-day."

"I ain't particular, but are you sure a '71 claret is the right choice for these here beans?"

'The End Justifies The Beans.

"Ahhh, the sweet smell of success!"

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'

1907: Thanks to his dog, Edward Fishkopp discovers the rocket drive.

Artist studies painting nudes by painting peeled bananas.

'Is it safe to come out? Are the auditors gone?'

'Genetically modified baked beans...well they look and taste the same to me!'