Bean Dilettante Pillows

"I spilled the beans last night so I wouldn't have to eat them."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Garlic Free Zone.

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'House wine?'

Macho Vegetarian

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Mrs. H.G.Wells.

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'Normally, seafood is good for you.'

'That's our most effective weight-loss patch.'

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"You'll never lose weight if you don't stop nibbling at your desk."

The Salvador Deli

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

"A flake? I told you I'm on a diet."

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

'Should I buy or sell?'

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

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'I usually discourage high-fat foods, Mr. Hall, but in your case, a Good Humor bar is in order.'

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"