Beachfront Properties T-Shirts

". . . and this is your lovely pool, albeit communal."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Beach con-man.

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Holiday time.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'Thank-you God.'

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Working Holiday

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

Hiding the electronics.

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

Surf Casting

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"