Beach Patrol T-Shirts

"Sign here that you acknowledge the risks."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

'Ready sweety? Here we go!'

Water Slide

Shark tower surveillance camera.

"I can hear the sea boiling."

Sand Snowmen

Husband burrows under sand to get a closer look at woman sunbathing topless at the beach.

Fish astronaut stands proudly on a beach.

Building a sandcastle and children's imagination.

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

"There'll be another case of deliberate nobbling if I get my hands on you lot."

Genie Gets a Good View on the Beach.

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

"You can tell beaches are closed - there's less trash."

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

Nude Beach/Perv Bluff

Man with a metal detector who finds iron man at the shore.

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

"I suppose you’re wondering why I summoned you, minion." "Not really, boss." "I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller, so small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything." "I think it’s about time our cafe took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay." "That’s why I’ve arranged for you to hand ‘campaign donations’ to several city councilmembers." "This doesn’t have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it?" "People should never have t

Lifeguard... Lifetime funds manager

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

'It's a variation of the South Beach diet -- we bury you in the sand till you lose fifty pounds.'

'I'm on beach-patrol today: It's sunscreen in there...'

"Harold, is that you?"

"Trevor's nose is running."

'There's nothing to beat a real seaside holiday is there?'

"He's landed a job as a deck chair attendant on a naturist beach."