Beach Patrol Gifts

"Sign here that you acknowledge the risks."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

'Ready sweety? Here we go!'

"From downtown...the shark scores!"

Shark tower surveillance camera.

"I can hear the sea boiling."

Sand Snowmen

Water Slide

Fish astronaut stands proudly on a beach.

Husband burrows under sand to get a closer look at woman sunbathing topless at the beach.

Building a sandcastle and children's imagination.

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

"There'll be another case of deliberate nobbling if I get my hands on you lot."

Genie Gets a Good View on the Beach.

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

"You can tell beaches are closed - there's less trash."

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

Nude Beach/Perv Bluff

Man with a metal detector who finds iron man at the shore.

'I'm on beach-patrol today: It's sunscreen in there...'

"I suppose you’re wondering why I summoned you, minion." "Not really, boss." "I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller, so small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything." "I think it’s about time our cafe took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay." "That’s why I’ve arranged for you to hand ‘campaign donations’ to several city councilmembers." "This doesn’t have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it?" "People should never have t

'It's a variation of the South Beach diet -- we bury you in the sand till you lose fifty pounds.'

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

Lifeguard... Lifetime funds manager

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

"Harold, is that you?"

"He's landed a job as a deck chair attendant on a naturist beach."

A Real Working Vacation.