Bbq Humorists Pillows

"I don't like this. Jimmy should have been back out here by now. The cops have been in there grilling him for over an hour!"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Wok. Don't Wok.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'I was in the catering corps.'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Amy Sedaris

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

Avocado Timeline

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

'He's all eyes!'

The secret lives of household things.

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

Decaying corpse

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

'...and how much experience have you of sushi making?'