Bbq Humorists Pillows

"I don't like this. Jimmy should have been back out here by now. The cops have been in there grilling him for over an hour!"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Wok. Don't Wok.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'I was in the catering corps.'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

Amy Sedaris

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Avocado Timeline

The secret lives of household things.

'He's all eyes!'

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

Decaying corpse

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"